Wow ... talk about a classic example of confusing correlation and causation. I wonder if Captain Robertson also believes that drinking hot cocoa might lead to hypothermia. There are more cases of hypothermia when hot cocoa consumption increases, so maybe we should ban hot cocoa in order to limit hypothermia deaths. Additionally, maybe we should consider making ice cream illegal, since more people drown when ice cream sales increase.
Some of you might be saying, "wait a second! People drink hot cocoa in the wintertime, which is precisely when the majority of hypothermia deaths occur, and more people eat ice cream in the summertime, which is the time of year that drownings are most likely to occur, so hot cocoa doesn't increase the risk of hypothermia, nor does ice cream increase the risk of drowning."
Well, based on Captain Robertson's logic, you'd be wrong to think that.
Has Captain Robertson ever "been to a heroin overdose" and him not be there? Well, it appears that Captain Robertson might cause heroin overdoses! Since Captain Robertson is likely a cause of heroin overdoses, he should resign as head of WANTF. After all, it's too scandalous if the head of a narcotics task force is, himself, one of the causes of heroin overdoses.
I'd be willing to bet that, Captain Robertson has never seen a heroin overdose in which there were no signs of oxygen. Well, I'll be damed -- oxygen consumption leads to heroin use! In order to beat back the heroin epidemic, we should all stop consuming oxygen. Well ... actually, let's all consume oxygen, except for the officers of WANTF -- they should definitely give the no oxygen thing a shot.